Pucker up! Part 1: Cinnamon Lips
by Cristin Barr
Summary: Second year of Hogwarts brings: Lockhart's fans, Draco's grin, Snape's temper, and 3 little trouble makers...
1. Appearing in one's lap

Prologue: The Lists 

**Mission Codename: Cinnamon Lips **

Operational Team: 

**Alix Wilmot**

AKA: Sylvan Alexandrite 

_Mission Operator_

Potterverse: Draco Malfoy, Fred Weasley, 

LOTRV: Frodo Bagins, Peregrin Took, Faramir, 

Slayersverse: Zelgadis 

Sailor Moonverse: Haruka 

Heathersverse: N/A 

**Cristin Barr**

AKA: Elladora Pinkstone 

_Mission Decoy and Pyrotechnics Specialist_

Potterverse: Draco Malfoy, Gilderoy Lockhart 

LOTRV: Gandalf, 

DBZV: Vegeta 

Sailor Moonverse: Tigers Eye 

Heathersverse: N/A 

**Laurel Turner**

AKA: Pax McNamara 

_Mission Leader/ Planner_

Potterverse: Oliver Wood 

LOTRV: Legolas, Peregrin Took 

DBZV: Trunks, Gohan, 

Sailor Moonverse: Helios 

Heathersverse: JD

**Part One: Potterverse**

Draco Malfoy was not having a good day. 

First, his utterly useless house elf had woken him up late. Then the limo wouldn't start. So, to his increasing chagrin, he was forced to arrive at Kings Cross in – horror of all horrors- a Rolls Royce! And then! Because of his late arrival, no compartments were left free, so he was forced to sit across from the self-absorbed pretty boy Gryffindor Quidditch captain Oliver Wood. 

So when a brunette girl about his age fell out of the ceiling of his compartment onto his lap, he was less than amused. He did, however, derive some small pleasure from the fact that the very same thing had happened to Wood. The only differences being Wood's was strawberry blond, and screamed, "Oliver Wood!" upon seeing whom she had landed on. 

Laurel couldn't believe her luck. Landing on one of her targets upon entry. How cool was that? Looking across she saw that Alix had also landed on one of her targets. Draco, the little snake. Oh boy, She thought, Cristin's not going to like this. Wait. Where is the little carrot top? Maybe She landed in the next compartment. She dully noted that Alix was currently frenching Malfoy, and he was actually enjoying it. Hmmm, learn by example. But after seeing the look of complete shock and worry on Oliver's face, decided, _Gotta earn it _

Finally Alix came up for air, but before Malfoy could mutter a stuttered, "Who-", She was back down again. 

It was Oliver who asked the inevitable question "Who are you?" Which meant she had to come up with a response. 

She smiled as sweet as possible and said "I'm Pax McNamara. How are you, Oliver?" 

"I'd be great if you tell how you got here and why you know my name?" 

Uh oh. She was in a situation now. How to explain this? 

"Well, I don't know how I got here but I do know why. Sorry, I can't tell you. Strictly confidential. But you wanna know how I know your name?" 

"Sure." 

Alix had actually taken the time to toss her the bag of books. This was a first for her. Most impressive. Laurel reached in, dug out the copy of The Philosopher's Stone, flipped to one the many book marked pages, and handed it to Oliver. There in the margins, in her messy printing were the words "first appearance of Oliver Wood, a historic moment." 

Oliver had been a little shocked when she landed on his lap. But now… Not blonde, but good enough. 

"Hey!" said the brunette. "You hurt Pax, I rip out your left lung and use it for a piñata." She turned back to the blonde. "Now, that wasn't so terrible, was it?" she said with a smirk that rivaled his own. 

"And what might be the name of my soon to be lover?" 

Her smirk faded abruptly. "Assumptions, assumptions. Don't get me wrong; you're a great kisser. But, shall we say, my heart resides with another?" She licked his cheek. "We've gotta do this again sometime." At this point, the sexual tension became too much to deal with, and he passed out. 

Laurel laughed. "I think you broke him, Alix." She turned back to Oliver. "Ollie, this is Sylvan Alexandrite, or Alix for short. She is a highly evil and perverse human being and one of my best friends." Alix had been staring for several seconds at Wood. She snapped her eyes back to Laurel. "I've changed my mind." She said. "You've got no competition here." 

"Good," Laurel smiled. "I owe you a Coke." 

"What?" said Oliver, thoroughly lost by this point. 

"Hey, we're slowing down." Alix looked triumphantly at Laurel. "See? Told ya it'd be faster to go through the roof of the train 'stead get on at the station." 

"In case you haven't noticed, we're **missing **someone!" 

Alix frowned. "That's odd." 

Laurel sighed. "Have you no sense of moral decency?" 

"Decency? What is this decency of which you speak?" 

She sighed again. " I am so glad I gave up on that argument about the socio-physical implications of telling them about themselves. Anyway, we should get off the train and look for her. I mean, she could be anywhere. And you know Ellie. She cannot be allowed to meet people without supervision." 

******* 

Severus Snape was not having a good day. 

First of all, this was the day the students came back from the summer holidays. Never a good thing. But this one was worse. His foul mood had nothing to do with the fact that later in the day a student he particularly despised would not be expelled for damaging a very important and historic willow tree. Had he known about it in advance, he would have been most assuredly furious, but not quite as petulant as he was at the moment. An unidentified falling redhead (UFR) had dropped out of nothingness right into his lap. That in and of itself may not have been that bad except, she babbled. Incessantly. Things like " Where are they? Why am I by myself? GRRR. Go through the train she said. It would be simple she said. Even **you** can do it she said. But check it out! I'm sitting on the lap of…" She looked up slowly, and saw him for the first time "Professor…Snape." And then she let out this horrible wail. Well, then the worst happened. She fainted, still on his lap. 

First thing, remove her. Secondly, sterilize clothes. 

****** 

"Soooo." Lockhart said, leaning over Dumbledore's desk. "You think you're so smart ay?" 

"Soooo, you think you're Canadian, eh?" replied Laurel, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She turned to look at Alix, who was fiddling with a letter opener and staring at Lockhart's facial area. " Gimme that!" she hissed, " No killing the targets, it's not allowed." 

" What's not allowed?" asked Lockhart. 

"Killing the targets," Alix said, leaning back in her chair and pulling out a piece of mint gum. She popped it in her mouth and chewed slowly, watching Lockhart's reaction closely. There was, for example, this thing that his eyeballs did, where they bulged in and out. Then there was the more than satisfactory twitching in the area of his lower lip. These things and more made him age several years. Alix never got more satisfaction than she did when watching pain of her own design. 

"T-target f-f-for wh-what?" he stuttered. 

"Fandom!" Alix said suddenly. 

"Oh, yeah, duh!" Laurel said. "We 'broke' in so-" she winked at Alix. "-Our _dear _friend Ellie could meet you!" 

"She's you hugest fan!" Alix said for emphasis. 

At that exact moment Dumbledore and Snape walked in, Snape carrying the unconscious form of Cristin, her red pigtails swinging in the breeze. 

"See?" said Alix, gesturing towards her with a hand. "She swooned just thinking about you!" 

"Actually," Snape began. The thought died when he saw Alix's deadened stare and slow shake of the head in his direction. He thought quickly, wondering what the brunette could possibly be playing at. 

"She fell out of the ceiling and onto a table, and when I tried to talk with her, she shrieked and said, "Save me, Mr. Lockhart." The brunette winked at him. He hated it when they did that. 

"The killer bunnies are coming!" Cristin said as she jerked awake. "Oh…" She saw she had something of an audience. "Hi everybody!" she waved. Then she noticed who was carrying her. And then she screamed. "Put me down!" She bit his arm. He dropped her soon enough. She ran round to hide behind Alix, which was noticeably difficult, considering that Alix was a few inches shorter than her. She started to cry. 

"Oh, Ellie, what's the matter?" Alix asked. 

"He gave me The Look!" she wailed. 

"What look? Men can't do The Look! It's a female trait!" Alix looked at Snape suspiciously. 

"This look." Cristin's eyes narrowed to thin lines, her lips stiffening. Her hair, as if by her own will, started to wilt, and drag closer to her face, which was considerably paler than usual. Alix grabbed her drooping pigtails. 

"Ellie," she said sternly. "Evil doesn't suit you. Don't do that again." 

"O-kay!" Cristin said perkily, completely back to normal. 

Snape scowled. Meanwhile, Dumbledore appeared to be holding in a great fit of laughter. "Severus," he said. "I believe you have a Forgetfulness Potion to brew." He turned to Lockhart. "And, I believe you have a class to prepare, Gilderoy." Snape stalked out, robes flowing out behind him. Alix giggled; she loved the billow-y coat vibe it gave off. Lockhart either hadn't heard him or wanted to ignore him. Either way he was currently obsessing over his fan "You'll want an autograph of course. And picture. I can sign that too if you like. OH! You wait right here and I will be right back with every thing!" And with that he left the office swearing to return with objects for Fandom. As soon as he left, Dumbledore slammed, locked and pushed a desk up against the door. "Now, why are you really here?" he asked, smiling. "It is most unlikely you have come here merely to obtain Gilderoy paraphernalia." 

"We're from the Canadian Ministry of Magic," Laurel said, handing him a letter, which was indistinguishable from a genuine article. Ah, the joys of Alix's Perfectype computer program. 

"We're here to study your teaching methods," Alix said in her, "I was a stockbroker at age 4" voice. 

"And QUIDDITCH!!!!!!!" Cristin yelled, jumping up and down. 

"Aren't you a little young to be doing this?" he asked. 

"There was this huge muggle fiasco. We're not even allowed to talk about it, really. Anyway, the short version is that everybody at the office is tied up, so-" 

"Daddy sent us!" Cristin cut her off. 

"Hmmm… Well, I suppose you can stay in different houses for the duration of your stay." He turned to Cristin "Your Grandmother wouldn't happen to be _Carlotta_ Pinkstone?" 

"As a matter of fact she is!" The redhead stated proudly. 

"Oh dear. Perhaps splitting you up is not the best idea." 

Alix shook her head. "Totally not. She should be with at least one of us at all times." 

At this moment, Snape decided to barge in, reducing the Louis XIV antique writing desk shoved against the door to splinters. "Headmaster!" he snarled. "Potter and Weasley have arrived. In the flying Ford Anglia that was in the Daily Prophet today!" 

"Really?" Dumbledore asked mildly. 

"How interesting." Alix said in almost the exact same tone of voice. 

"Well, it appears I have to go deal with the newly arisen situation." Dumbledore stood up. "If you would be so good as to make your way to the Great hall I will take my leave of you." 

"Where are we supposed to stay? Is there some sort of tower we can live in?" asked Cristin 

" Well I was thinking more along the lines of Gryffindor tower-" 

"Yipeeeeeee" broke out all three. 

***** 

**Alix: **_I like this chapter the best so far!_

**Laurel:**_ Only 'cause you kiss Draco._

**Cristin:**_ YOU KISSED DRACO??? *Laurel holds her back as she tries to kill Alix*_

An: Ok, I wrote this with Alix and Laurel and Laurel wanted me to put it onto Fanfiction.net so here it is. Great beginning eh? I didn't really write a lot in this part seeing as I was in this chapter very little. I did help out here and there like Draco's line "And what might be the name of my soon to be lover?" That's mine! And some other little things. You're probably confused about a couple things but they're all be explained later on in the story. 

_PLEASE_ Review! And look at my other stories and review! 

Pucker up is a series of stories which still need to be written. This series is written by 3 people, Laurel, Alix and Myself. So, you can't give me all the credit tho I'd love feedback.


	2. Introducing one's self

Hogwarts had never seen an odder group. And probably never would again. After they left Dumbledore's office, a tiny house elf showed them into the Great Hall. Alix, with typical subtlety, flung wide the doors, and gave everyone in the hall a once over. Most of the Slytherins, having been ***ahem* **_informed _of this girl by Malfoy several times over, looked almost pleased to see her. The Fat Friar at the Hufflepuff table looked scandalized. The Gryffindors and Ravenclaws looked mildly interested. And Laurel? Ah, well, she was attempting camouflage herself behind a large potted plant that she had managed to find. Cristin was, by contrast, gazing up at the ceiling in awe, and naming new constellations. "And that's Alfgar the Flatulent! (Giggle!) You can only guess what he's famous for!" Laurel had wisely decided this was the correct time to stuff her head into the pot. Up at the high table, Professor Sinistra had started giggling uncontrollably. 

Alix frowned, " People, I have seen more intelligent stares coming from dead cows!" 

After Alix made her little speech, Alix and Cristin grabbed Laurel, and pulled her across the hall. Draco gave Alix a pompous half-wave, which Cristin returned enthusiastically, Laurel ducking to avoid the flailing Arm of DOOM. Alix blew Draco a kiss, then walked right past the Slytherin table to plop down next to Fred Weasley. 

Draco was noticeably _shocked_. 

" Well hello again! This seat taken?" Laurel inquired plopping down in Oliver's lap. Laurel quickly engaged in conversation with Oliver Wood. 

" So what brings you to Hogwarts?" 

" Well, Quidditch actually" she responded, picking away idly at his Yorkshire pudding. His face lit up. 

" Really?" 

"I dunno," said Alix shaking her head " I don't think you can ever replace the Dungbomb. I mean, it's a classic, innit?" 

"Nah, you should see these things Zonko's just come out with-" Hermione, who clearly did not want to know about new Zonko products, cut Fred off. 

" So where are you from?" 

" Oh geez! A thousand apologies. We haven't even introduced ourselves!!! From out of the darkest cloud-" 

"Alix, don't be weird." Laurel hissed, after her pulling down from her chair. 

" Alright!" responded resentfully, seeing as her fun had taken away from her. " My name's Sylvan Alexandrite." 

"Oh! I've heard of you!" 

"No shit? All lies. All of it! I swear that goat never told me her age!" 

Everybody at the table except Hermione snorted into their food. "Where exactly was the brothel you found her in?" Oliver whispered to Laurel. "She's not normally like this. Our form of traveling screws up her hormonal balance," she whispered back. 

"I see." 

Hermione had regained her composure by this point, and continued. "No, nothing like- like _that. _I heard you are the only person to ever have been tried in the Canadian Magical Youth Justice Court for associating with untamed magical sub-terrestrials." Alix's grin widened. "What can I say? I'm just a poor country girl with a soft spot for-" 

"Moving along…" Laurel cut in. 

"Oh, right. This is Pax McNamara. She-" 

"Is perfectly able to speak for herself, thank you, Alix." Laurel turned to Hermione. "I'm an Auror Trainee" 

Everyone who was listening in on this conversation, '_awww_'ed. 

"How can you be a Auror Trainee? Don't you have to be out of school to-?" Ginny started. 

"Not in Canada, everyone's home schooled. Pax's parents are aurors, so they're teaching her how to be one." Alix said, looking suspiciously at the liver and onion pie, "Since Pax's parents are teaching her to be a auror, they've given her a job, to watch over-" Alix turned to away from Fred and pointed to the empty sit beside her, "Excuse me for a moment," Alix turned and scanned the room, once spotting her she yelled, "ELLIE! YOU'RE GOING TO DRILL A HOLE IN HIS HEAD IF YOU KEEP STARING," Draco would was watching Alix closely turned to look where she was looking and noticed a girl with pig tails staring at him. He watched as she blushed, frozen in eye contract with him. 

"ELLIE!" Alix yelled, snapping Cristin out of her moment of eye contract with him and ran over to the Griffendor table as fast as her legs would take her. 

"AND this is Elladora Pinkstone," Alix said, Neville gasping. 

"The Canadian Minister of Magic's Daughter?" Herminoe asked quickly before Ginny could say what she was going to say. 

"Yup…JUICE!" Ellie said happily, grabbing the goblet in front of her and taking little sips and giggling. 

Alix reached her hand out and gently pulled the goblet out of Cristin's hands, "What did we tell you about Juice before bed?" 

"Oooh! But-" Cristin wined, puppy eyes replacing her normal blue eyes. 

"You might as well let her finish the rest of it," Laurel said calmly. 

"Fine," Alix handed back the goblet, "But don't go crying to me when she's bouncing off the walls, waking everyone up!" 

"She'll all worn out by the time we go to bed. Trust me." Laurel gave Alix a meaningful glance. Alix appeared to understand whatever Laurel was hinting at, and gave her a small nod. Sure enough by the end of the evening Cristin was so tired, she practically had to be carried into bed. Oliver Wood graciously showed the three girls to Gryffindor Tower. Laurel And Alix each had one of Cristin's arms and were supporting her as they walked. Cristin was mumbling things like " No mwore pwuddin, mwore juice, and I will get to sweep tonight." 

"How did you guys get her to calm down? At one point there she was bouncing off the table." Oliver inquired. 

" I slipped this into her juice" Laurel passed Oliver a small bottle of green liquid with her free hand. On it was a handsome handmade label that read 'Top Secrete: For Cristin; to be used only in emergencies,' A puzzled look overtook Oliver's face. Alix answered his look. 

" It's a sleeping potion. We made it for her so that she can calm down." 

" See, she normally gets that way after juice." added Laurel. Oliver nodded vaguely and turned to go up yet another set of stairs. They seemed to have to go up every staircase in the whole castle. Then nobody spoke for a while. The only sound to be heard were footsteps and Cristin's mumbling. 

" So, what classes will you be in?" Oliver asked Laurel all the sudden, making Laurel jump three feet in the air. 

" Oh! We haven't been assigned our classes yet. Although I think we're gonna be paired up with a member of a class in Gryffindor. But I can't be certain of that, yet." Laurel gave a tiny wink to Oliver, who, for some reason, blushed a little. 

Nice thought Laurel, He likes me. Great thought Alix there will be emotional attachment here. And juice thought Cristin. Then finally they stopped in front of large painting of a lady in a pink silk dress. 

  
"Here we are" Oliver said stoutly, he gave the password, and the painting swung open to reveal a hole in the wall in which there was a cozy circular room with bunches of large squashy chairs facing a fire place, with a fire roaring in it. On the far side of the room was a window in which you can see the grounds, now blanketed in darkness.

  
" Ooh," squealed Alix after taking a good look around, "it's even better than I ever imagined!" She turned to Laurel who was now the soul person supporting Cristin and was having some difficulty in doing so.

  
" We are going to have a blast here!!"  
" That's great, but if you don't mind, I could use a little help here."  
" Here, let me help you." said Oliver. Together, Laurel and Oliver managed to get Cristin into one of the unoccupied armchairs while Alix was gaping about.  
"Mmmm comfy" mumbled Cristin as she fell asleep.

  
"Mm is quite cozy isn't it?" pondered Laurel out loud then proceeded to talk to herself. " Yes, yes this will be quite enjoyable, mm I think we could have lot of fun with this, although I did think that those stairs where over there, but otherwise quite perfect."

  
"Laurel, you're talking to yourself again."  
"What!? Oh sorry."  
"You know you only do that when your tired. Come on, lets go to bed now."  
"Yes, ok I do feel tired now that the excitement has worn off. And that trip is getting to me." she yawned "Let's find our dormitories. "  
"Yes let's."  
"Well… goodnight Oliver I'll see you in the morning, right?  
"Yes of course, I'll see at breakfast, Goodnight Pax." Laurel blew him a kiss as she walked up the stairs with Alix, carrying the sleeping Cristin.

********

**Cristin: **_You slipped stuff into my JUICE???_

**Laurel: **_Mmmmmmmaybe..._

**Alix: **_If we didn't you'd have destroyed Hogwarts!_

**Cristin:**_Oh....Fine!_

Ok, the Canadian ministry was made up by us *Good answer* Most of the characters belong to J. K. Rowling such as Draco and all those other slytherin people mentioned. So, ya...There's not much to talk about in this chapter. I did way most typing. But Laurel and Alix again did most of the typing...Mostly Alix....  
So, I guess all I can say now is...

End of Chapter  



	3. Waking up and the race to find your clas...

The next morning the three girls walked into to great hall, only this time they didn't get quite the stares they received the previous night. This morning Alix was in a foul mood, for Laurel had woken her up earlier than she appreciated. Cristin was as happy as ever. And Laurel felt the excitement pulse through her blood again. They again made their way to Gryffindor table for breakfast. 

"It's a terrible smell in here, isn't it, Millicent?" said Pansy Parkinson to Millicent Bulstrode in a loud voice. 

"They really shouldn't let prostitutes in-"Alix was there in a flash, leaping into the air with several quick summersaults and landing neatly with one foot on the table, one on the bench. She leaned across the table, glaring at the pair of them. 

"Who are you callin' a whore, Cerberus?" Pansy and Millicent spluttered in unison. "H-how dare you!" Millicent managed to spit out. "Oh, I'm sorry." Alix replied. "But I thought it sounded a little more civil than 'three-headed bitch'." Spying a bowl of strawberries, she tossed it into the air, jumped down from the table, and caught it in her outstretched hand. She tossed one in her mouth. Then she gave them a guilty look. "Oh, I'm sorry, were you not finished with these?" She glared. "Tough shit." She turned on her heel and ran spastically back to the Gryffindor table shrieking, "Guys! Guys! I've got strawberries!" 

" What! What!? Where!! GIMME!!!! GIMME NOW!" Laurel yanked the bowl out of Alix's hand and devoured them in seconds. Cristin pulled on Alix's sleeve. 

"What's a whore?" she asked. 

"Nothing you need to know in mixed company dear. Now go have some breakfast." 

"Okay!" 

" Hey our time tables!" exclaimed Alix 

"Yeah, we are supposed to pair up with someone in Gryffindor" Laurel mumbled through a mouthful of strawberries. 

" I call Fred!!!" shouted Alix, hooking her arm around the doomed redhead, causing him to spit out quite a bit of the bacon he was chewing on. 

"And who do you want to go with Ellie?" Laurel inquired of Cristin. 

"Ummm," She looked around the table uncertainly. Ginny looked up from her timetable. " You can come with me if you like." 

" Ummm, okay" Cristin said shyly. 

"Great" Ginny replied cheerfully, returning to her timetable. 

" And I think we all know who I'm gonna be partners with…"

A trumpet sounded. The doors to the Great Hall swung open and a vision entered. As he walked into the Hall, soft flute music drifted into the room, rose petals flittered onto the floor, and all the girls sighed and passed out on the floor. A red carpet appeared out of nowhere and halted at the bottom of Laurel's long dress. A gust of wind billowed the dress behind her, and he glided towards her, swooped her off of her feet in circles, taking her dancing around the room. Around each of the tables, around the teachers table, then back at the red carpet. He dipped her over his knee leaning forwards- "Laurel. Laurel! Laurel!? Earth to Laurel. Come on wake up. It's time to go to class" 

"Wha-," Laurel looked up to see Oliver standing in front of her in the nearly deserted Great Hall. " EEP! I was in NO WAY fantasizing about you!" 

"We'd better hurry and grab our books or we'll be late for Charms." 

"Oh-right" 

*

Alix followed Fred and George down one of the main floor corridors. Fred and his brother were in a conversation; Alix figured it wasn't to be heard by teachers or students for they were whispering. Alix didn't mind this at all for she was reading over _The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 7. _

Alix looked up from her book when the sound of a trumpet playing a particularly loud version of Mozart's Piano Concerto in A Minor and the sound of running footsteps coming from behind Alix. She turned around to see Laurel and Oliver running across an intersection in the corridor with Peeves blowing a trumpet and racing behind the two and stopped in the intersection for a few seconds and yelled "YOU"RE GONNA BE LATE, YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE, FOR NOT SO IMPORTANT OF DATE, HEY BUA BOOM BUA BING LA LA LA LA LA…" Then continued with his 'lovely' little trumpet call and 'raced' after them grinning. 

If this had been Hogwarts Anime style, a HUGH sweat drop would have appeared on the back of Alix's head. 

Another pair of footsteps later… 

"FRED!" 

The group of three turned to see Ginny in one of the intersections at the other side of the hall. Gasping for breath she yelled, "WHERE'S SNAPE'S CLASSROOM?" 

"KEEP GOING RIGHT DOWN THE STAIRS, THEY'LL TAKE YOU TO THE GREAT HALL AND THEN GO DOWN THE STAIRS BESIDE THE BROOM CLOSET," George yelled. 

"THANKS!" She yelled back and turned to her left, "HURRY ELLIE!" 

"COMING!" Ellie came into view, carrying all her books in her arms. Ellie hadn't have time to put them in her book bag which was hanging on for dear life around her neck and looked like a folded parachute. 

Alix noticed one of the stones on the floor popping up, "ELLIE LOOK OU-" Ellie tripped, fell into Ginny, her books flying everywhere as the two rolled down the stairs- screaming. 

Peeves came out of the floor laughing, with a wide grin on his face. 

"The little sprites will need to flights, or they'll be late oh what a fate," Peeves sang. 

"ELLIE!" 

"GINNY," Fred and George both yelled running toward the stairs. 

As they were making they're way there the screaming stopped. Fred, George and Alix looked down the stairs to see two of the suits of armor, each carrying one of the girls halfway down the stairs. 

_Alix sighed with relief. _

"Peeves," Dumbledore said half way up the stairs, "Though that was one of the most spectacular performances of the second scene of ballet Alas, I've transfigured my feet I have ever witnessed, I would ask you not to harm my students in any way that may result in permanent damage." 

Peeves stopped laughing, gave Dumbledore a salute, shouted, "Gotta Baa goose!" and zipped through the nearest wall. 

"Are you two alright?" He asked as the two suits of armor put the two down and returned to their positions. 

"Yes, thank you very much," Ginny said. 

Ellie was facing the suit of armor that had saved her, "Thank you," she said, stooping to pick up a quill she had lost in the kafuffle. 

"You're welcome," said a muffed voice shyly. 

Ellie's head snapped up. She stood staring at the suit of armor for a second, and then turned to the headmaster with a question on her face. 

Albus chuckled and said, "Shouldn't you all be getting to class, it starts within minutes." 

Ginny and Ellie turned to each other, "WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!" 

"_Accio Books!_" Ellie opened her bag and watched as her book flew into her book bag and running after Ginny down the stairs. 

"Bloody Hell!" George whispered. 

"Come on, the Divination classroom is just up those stairs," Fred said running toward the stairs at the end of the hall. 

_Well, THIS has been a most eventful morning so far…_ Alix thought. 

*

**Cristin and Laurel turn to Alix:** _GRADE 7??!_

**Alix:** _Yea so?_

**Cristin:** _Do you not have a life?_

**Alix:** _I do have a life and right now (Pulls out wand..) Your is in peril._

**Cristin: **_Another nice mess you've gotten us into Laurel._

**Laurel: **_Oh no you don't! You're not blaming me- Alix?? Where are you going?_

**Alix: **_Dance Revolution waits for no one!_

**Laurel: **_Great, we're going to die from the blood flowing to our heads_

**Cristin: **_Could be worst_

**Laurel: **_How?_

**Cristin: **_The rope could be burning and a bunch of man eating sharks below us._

**Laurel: **_Point taken._

Let's see, once again most of the characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Breakfast was made by the lovable and adorable house elves of Hogwarts! No one was hurt falling down the stairs...maybe the stairs themselves but... No LIVING thing was damaged during the duration of the chapter. Hey bua Boom Bua BING, is from the _East side Mario's_ commercial. Anime, from those who do NOT know what it is. Is...Japanese animation. Like Sailor moon...Which ROCKS! I wrote a very nice chuck of this chapter. No one is not a whore in this story...Well... I dunno for sure but- ANYWAYS! The spell _Accio_ is for summoning things. Say _Accio_ and then the thing you want to come to you. That's how it works. Laurel's daydream was totally all her. YAY LAUREL!! Alix can't REALLY do cool flips in the air...from what I know. Mozart's Piano Concerto in A Minor is by...Why, MOZART OF COURSE! (The one that sounds like a race.) The line, "You're going to be late..." Was taken from Disney's Alice in Wonderland and was changed from, "I'm late, I'm late, for an important date...." Peeve's great/not so great rhyming was by done Cristin. Alix's sigh was brought to you by: The Sighing club..._Because It's an art to sigh_... Just joking! ^-^ '_Gotta Baa Goose' _is from the Anime: _Elf Princess Rane _which is an AWESOME comedy! Dumbledore's little speech was done by Alix. _Bloody hell_ is British slang.

Rating is going up because of the language...nothing more, nothing less.

And as the King in _The King and I_ cartoon would said " Etc. Etc. Etc."


	4. First Class

Ginny poked her head into the classroom.

"He's not in here yet," she said turning to see Cristin recovering from the long run, "I'll go first. There's two sits left; one's at the front and the others at the back. I'll take the one at the back. Okay? GO!"

The two walked into the room, Ginny made it to her seat within seconds. It took Cristin a couple of seconds to locate the empty seat at the front. Just as she was about to move her foot to start walking toward her seat…

"Miss Pinkstone?"

Every hair on Cristin's body stood on end.

"Yes?" she asked, slowing turning around hoping with all her heart it wasn't hi-…DAMN!

The gangly copperhead moved away from him, as he was right up against her. Cristin blushed from embarrassment at the fact that he was right up in her face. Snape had indeed noticed the blushing but ignored it, like he did most emotions.

"Why aren't you at your seat?"

"I…umm… well... you see…"

"Yes?" Snape stepped closer so he was towering over her and that he was looking down at her and crossed his arms. Ellie was looking up at him thinking:_ I didn't realize he was so tall. _

By this point, everyone in the class was watching, the floorshow.

"You come over from Canada to learn and you haven't even arrived on time for the lesson!" His voice, which normally was below a murmur, was now a cross between a shrieking fit and a stage whisper.

"I-"

"Do not interrupt me again, Pinkstone. Though your education thus far been fragmentary and informal, you will find that, on this continent at least, it is considered extremely poor manner to interrupt a class while others are working."

"But I-"

"SILENCE! Come to my office after Supper this evening. You have detention."

"But I-"

"No buts, Miss Pinkstone. Take your seat before I have to send you to Dumbledore…" He turned to face the rest of the pupils. "Let that be a lesson to the rest of you as well."

Snape couldn't be sure, but he thought he heard someone in the back of his head cry, "_Hurt her and I'll let Alix have her way with you_."

Laurel looked behind her, Peeves was nowhere to be seen. She heaved huge a sigh of relief. Who knows where he had gone, and quite frankly she didn't care, just as long as he had gone. She and Oliver were just outside the charms room. Laurel shoved her books in Oliver's hands and started to straightened herself out, brushing things off here and there, smoothing her hair. Oliver gave her a curious look.  
" What!? A girls got to look her best hasn't she?" Oliver merely raised his eyebrows a little, then handed back her books. They walked into the classroom together, just before class started. They took two seats near the back of the room as professor Flitwick entered. Laurel sat quietly, taking in the sear wonder of her surroundings, the excitement pulsed through her blood again, and she felt like being mischievous.  
  
Suddenly everything went dark, and silent, she felt fear, then faint words…  
"But I-"  
"SILENCE! Come to my office after Supper this evening. You have detention."  
"But I-"  
"No buts, Miss Pinkstone. Take your seat before I have to send you to Dumbledore…"  
"Let that be a lesson to the rest of you as well."  
It was Cristin, and Snape was giving her trouble. _Hurt her and I'll let Alix have her way with you_, Laurel thought savagely. Then the darkness melted away to reveal the classroom and the students at their desks. The sound of Professor Flitwick calling out names entered her ears. She shook her head to relieve the small pain forming at the back of her head.  
_Strange_, she thought. _I've never done that before! Hmmm maybe it has something to do with the magic of Harry Potterverse! Maybe I have some sort ok wicked sixth sense here!!_ "OH! OH! The possibilities!"  
  
Somehow those last words slipped out of her mouth. And she suddenly realized she had also jumped on top of her desk and was standing there with one arm on her hips and the other extended in front of her in a peace sign. Every one in the class was staring at her. She could practically see the sweat drops forming in their heads. This was such an anime scene! Jeez I must be taking lessons from Alix!  
  
"Um…. hee hee. Sorry everyone." she swallowed hard " I'm still half asleep" Laurel sank slowly back into her seat. And sat as low as she could. Dear, oh dear oh dear.  
  
"I think I've been around Alix for too long." she whispered to Oliver. Who patted her back comfortingly.  
  
For the rest of the class Laurel tried to make herself invisible. Which didn't actually work, seeing as she was the guest of the class. She was called on to introduce herself to the class. You know the whole "tell us about yourself" thing. Then Professor Flitwick made her do a charm in front of the class. which was just murder! Charms is not Laurel's strong point. Then she accidentally knocked down a bookshelf, right at the end of class. She left the class feeling slightly disheveled.

Alix narrowed her eyes. "I beg your pardon?"

Professor Kettleburn had survived numerous attempts on his life from magical creatures before. His lack of a right leg and a left hand spoke for themselves. He had stood against rampaging harpies, irate nagas, and even tax officials.

However, he had yet to conquer his childhood fear of dryaads.

"Y-you see, m-my de-dear, it is cu-customary for new students to pa-participate in skill t-t-testing challenges to de-determine whether-"

She raised her eyebrow. "Whether they need to be left back a grade?"

"Not necessarily, but, um, I, ah…"

She mentally cursed the others for not working out ahead of time what their schedules would be. She HATED animals! Well, with the exception of wolves, foxes, cats, Lupin…

The old fool finally seemed to come under control. "Well, Miss Sylvan?"

She grinned carnivorously, and he began to consider the many benefits of early retirement.

"Well, here goes nothing- literally."

She raised her weapon and, with a series of flourishes, set a new world record. She then handed the smoking parchment to Kettleburn.

"Done."

He looked like someone had told him his cat had killed a foreign diplomat. Scanning the parchment quickly, he handed back to her.

"You forgot to sign your name. Other than that, you got a 96."

"Crap!"

* * *

**Alix: **_Well that was an interesting morning_

**Laurel:**_ I suck at charms..._

**Cristin: **_It's ok Laurel-chan! I got a detention._

**Alix stopped what she was doing: **_Wait a min...You of ALL people got a detention **BEFORE I DID??? **nod Well, at least it wasn't from Snape. Then I'd- Cristin nods You're joking right? Shakes of head Come on! Don't kid me!...OHHHH! It's not fair!!! Runs around in circles mumbling very loud_

**Cristin: **_Laurel, what's wrong with Alix?_

**Laurel: **_She's having Snape's billow-y robes withdrawal...She doesn't have potions until Friday._

**Alix: **_I'M DOOM!!! Starts laughing uncontrollably and starts pulling at her hair_

Each class was written by the person who was taking the class. Well, mine was done with the help of Alix and Laurel...I think can't remember. Anyways, that's about it.

Short and Simple.


	5. Moving Stairs OF DOOM!

"So, how was your first day?" Laurel asked walking down the hall with her dear 'little' friend.  
"Mr. Kettleburn knows, I had a little fun with him."  
"Please tell me you didn't set his hair on fire like your last Care for Magical Creatures teacher?"Alix turned with a look of shock on her face, "ME?! Set his hair on fire? Why would I do that?" Laurel gave her that look and Alix merely took on a rich snobby attitude "I have bigger plans for him," Laurel chuckled.

"Just don't turn him into a man eating toilet, I had nightmares for weeks."

Alix was about to comment on the subject when a pair of arms wrapped around her upper body, "How's my goddess doing?"

Alix rolled her eyes and pulled out the awesome might of a technique she had been working on for all her life…ok she made it up…kinda…. "TOE, CHIN, STOMACH! Annnnnd thump Leave victim to squirm on the floor as random people point…and laugh,"  
"I thought it was toe, chin, stomach and run?"  
"Well, I had to change it…Made me look like a wimp when I ran."  
"Ah, specking of that, have you seen Ellie? Dinner's about to start…."

"You see, the beast had me down on the ground. It's fangs dripping the blood of my fellow travelers. I knew then I had act."

Ellie looked down on the floor at the professor who was '_fighting'_ off a not so real werewolf, "What did you do then?"

"Well, the werewolf had already crushed my wand leaving me defenseless but I knew that I had to use my secret weapon." Lockhart paused to see if his audience was dieing to know what happened next, of course Ellie was all ears, "I used my two fisted monkey technique which I learned in the _Forbidden City_ of Beijing, in China. Of course, when a werewolf transforms its body becomes very musculature making it very hard to hurt BUT, there is a weak point and I hit it dead on, weakening the beast greatly. It gave a great roar-"

"**_Miss Pinkstone!_**_"_ Ellie lowered her head as the voice echoed through out classroom, her face going very pale.

Lockhart got up from the ground, going through the smoke made werewolf to find a very mad looking Snape at the entrance; one of the few emotions he showed.

"Aw Snape, what brings you to my class?"

Snape advanced forward, his footsteps sounded like giants roaming around the mountainside. He stopped and placed a hand on Ellie's shoulder, sending shivers down her back.

"It would seem Miss Pinkstone has forgot about our little 'arrangement' for detention this evening."

Lockhart looked at the large grandfather clock, which had stopped and then pulled out a pocket watch, "Goodness greatish, it's 7 already. I must applauses for Miss Pinkstone's lateness, I was explaining in more detail about my encounter with the Werewolf of the _Sakya Monastery_ in Tibet."

"Miss Pinkstone."  
Cristin froze stiff and replied in a quiet voice, "yes?"

"Say goodnight."

"Good night Professor."  
"Good, come along," Snape said removing his hand from her shoulder to grab a hold of his _'cape'_ to turn it as he left. Ellie without question **quickly** slide off of the desk and followed…

"Do you know how many staircases there are in here?" Snape asked.

"Ummmm…" Ellie looked up at the moving staircases.

Snape put his hands behind his back and turned to Ellie, leaning toward her. "Take a guess."

"500?"

"One thousand and ninety-nine to be exacted and do you know _WHY _I'm telling you this?" Snape said in a disturbing happy tone.

Ellie looked at him and shook her head.

"You see, I was planning on making you clean some cauldrons in my lab but… You never showed up," Happiness gone and the cloud of darkness appears around Snape, "So, I decided something much more _**brutal**_ was in order."

_Why do I have this sinking feeling all of a sudden?_ Cristin thought as Snape summoned a bucket of water with a brush.

" You see how the stairs move so quickly at times? The house elves refuse to clean them anymore because of it AND," Pointing at Cristin, " _You_ are going to clean, wash, and wax these stairs until I can see my face in them, do I make myself **CLEAR?**"

Cristin merely nodded as she shook a little in place from Snape's outburst of angry toward her, "Good," He said putting the bucket in her hand, "Best get to work," And he patted her on the head before walking toward his broom he left, "Oh, and Miss Pinkstone, every time you fall off. You lose 5 points for Griffendor and gain 5 points of Slytherin."

"899….900!"

Snape looked up from his marking of summer homework to see Cristin jumping up and down at the fact she was almost done washing the stairs and only had one hundred and ninety nine left before waxing. It had taken her at least 3 hours to get this far. He shook his head returning to the floating piles of paper around him as he sat on his broom.

Cristin looked up from her 'child labor,' dropping her brush, she pulled her hair out of the pigtails and pulled out a green ribbon from her pocket and wrapped it around her hair making a loose ponytail.

Snape looked up to see how she was doing and nearly fell off of his broom; he quickly looked around and rose higher until he finally spotted her… working her way down… he shook his head, "Miss Pinkstone, why are you waxing when there are still stairs to be-"  
"Washed them."  
"Did you wax-"  
"Did that too."

Snape seemed puzzled at how she had picked up speed so suddenly and watched her wax the stairs jumping to some without fear, even if the staircase WAS on the other side of the _'tower thingy'._

Cristin finished and dropped the brush in the bucket not looking at her professor who landed a few feet away.

"Miss Pinkstone, you're not done."

"Not done?" Snape noticed her voice had changed, "Now, how can that be? I mean I've cleaned and waxed them..." She still didn't look up at him.

"I don't see my face in the-"

She chuckled, " That's impossible. The stairs are made of gray stone. You can't see your refection in them no matter HOW long you clean at them but for you… I think I can work something out." Cristin said slyly and pulled out her wand and with a flick, spin and point, Snape's head appeared on every single staircase.

Snape blinked for one of the first times in his life and then looked at Cristin. She smirked and looked up. Her whole innocence look she had had earlier was gone and was replaced by a fiery haired demon.

"Well, good-night…Professor, I hope next time. You find something…more challenging for my detention. Clean and wax the stairs. HA! Don't make me laugh…" She said as she walked up the stairs as one of the 1099 faces reacted to her stepping on its nose.

* * *

**Alix: **Well it's about time you got the next chapter up!

**Cristin:** What do you mean?

**Alix:** You've had it done for over 3 months and NOW you decide to put it on !

**Laurel:** Hey! I want to be part of the argument...   
**Alix/Cristin:** NOOOOOO! Get wrestled to the ground.

Sakya Monasteryis a real place in Tibet._Forbidden City_ of Beijing, in China is also a realy place The smoke werewolf was brought to you by, Smoke are us. (Don't Smoke! It's bad for you.) Mr. Kettleburn belongs to J.K. Rowling. And if that's not the way to spell greatish. Please inform me at once.

And Please, take 2 mins of you 'busy' summer schedule and write a simple review. Thank you.


End file.
